A pair of very dirty girls.

Upon boarding the plane for our impending return to the country of rain C and I were more than a little bemused that our bags weighed 5kg more than when we left for the countries of suns. For most people, we appreciate, this would not be a bemusing incident as most people buy lots of shit when they are away. Unfortunately for us we have no money to call our own and so could not buy much shit at all; in fact, all we had gained were two small bags of gifts for our dearest (who are now, for the first time in a month, actually pretty near).

Since returning we have weighed these small bags of gifts and they both come to less than 1kg each. We would also like to point out that on our month away we have used a lot of toiletries. You want a list? Oh ok; items that were destined never to return to the UK include: shampoo, shower gel (a Polish brand called "Fa" incidentally, and had "50% extra yoghurt" - we never knew whether to be delighted or perturbed by this news), deodorant, body spray, dry shampoo, conditioner and a few other lotions and potions that our battered shoulders could not face carrying home. (Turns out that the extra weight was taken its toll as my shoulders had turned from brown to blue; t-shirts are now my friends).

We have therefore, for those out there who struggle with maths, managed to pick up 4kg from somewhere we know not where. We have concluded, after much Sherlock-esq inductions, that the 4kg comprise solely of dirt.(The power of this induction is strengthened by the fact that when in Dubrovnik we washed some clothes in the bath and the water went black. So we emptied it out and tried again and it went black. So we gave up.)

As such, we are both (in our respective residents - don’t get excited) now going to wash that 4kg of dirt out of our clothes (and probably a couple more out of our hair).